With Today's Win, Packers Improve Their Record vs. Imperfect Refs to 1-1

FINAL: San Francisco 49ers 34-New York J-E-S-T, (Surely You) Jest, Jest, Jest! 0

Washington Redskins to Unveil New RG 3.1 Upgrade Next Week

One-Eyed Aaron & Packers Beat Saints by 1; FINAL: Green Bay 28-New Orleans 27

One-Eyed Rodgers to Nelson for TD; Packers 28-Saints 27 (4th)

Saints' Poke-Rodgers-in-the-Eye Defensive Strategy Pays Off; New Orleans Gets Ball Back

Packers' Fans Come to Realization That Regular NFL Referees Aren't All That Great Either

Green Bay Fans Happier Than Eddie Money Owning His Own Travel Agency; Rodgers to Jones TD Puts Packers Up 21-7 Over Saints in 2nd

While On Packers' Sidelines With Injury, M.D. Jennings Examines Self; Prognosis: "Questionable"

Packers' Greg Jennings With 1st* TD of Season (*Actually 2nd); Packers 14-Saints 7 (2nd)

Apparently Pass Interference Against Packers Still Legal in End Zone

UP NEXT: Green Bay Packers vs. New Orleans Saints in the "Goodell Eff'ed-Us-Over Bowl"

Packers' T.J. Lang Welcomes Regular Refs Back With Hug, Chocolates & Dozen Roses

Lions' Special Teams Squad Not All That Special

Fans Come to Realization That Regular NFL Referees Weren't All That Great Either

Lions' Coach Jim Schwartz Hopes Snarky Looks From Sideline Help Motivate Team

Trailing Vikings, Detroit Lions Adopt Gangnam Style Defense; Suh Has Moves Like Psy(cho)

BREAKING: Seattle Seahawks Actually Just Scored an Honest-to-God Genuine Touchdown

Vikings' Percy Harvin Runs 105-Yards for a TD on Opening Kick-Off; Lions' Special Team's Coach to Work on Pre-Game Motivational Speech

BREAKING: NFL Invents Baseball Cap

GAME OF THE WEEK: This Sunday (3:25p CT) it's the Who-Dats vs. the Ain-A-Heys at Lambeau Field! (Ain-A-Heys Favored by 7)

Architect for New Vikings Stadium to Be Announced Today; Considering Bids from Ralph & Alf Monroe and Jerry-Built Inc.

New Orleans Resident: "I'm a Saints Fan for LIFE! Or, Until Those Losers Slide to 0-5"

Jay Cutler's Brain: "If You Ate Yourself, Would You Disappear or Be Twice as Big?"

Cleveland Head Coach Pat Shurmur to Browns' WR Greg Little: "I Want You to Put Your Little-Boy Pants On & Think Little!"

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Apologizes to Fans for Ref Fiasco: "I Will Never Use Angie's List Again"

Real Refs Return Tonight to Officiate Game Between Old Cleveland Browns & New Cleveland Browns

Packers' Guard T.J. Lang Now Leads League in Ending NFL Referee Lockouts (1)

Replacement Ref Who Made Monday Night's Call Still Says He Was Correct… But, Then Again, He Also Thinks Airplane Windows Should Open

Jay Cutler's Brain: "If Only People Knew How Much Effort I Put Into Looking Dopey"

Regular Refs Return Beginning Tonight; Seattle Seahawks Hopes of Stealing Another Win Have Been Quashed

GOOD NEWS: The Regular Refs are Back! BAD NEWS: Packers Still Got F#*ked Over Last Monday Night

NFL Prepares for Return of Regular Refs; Head Coaches Throw-Out All Playbook Strategies Marked "Do Whatever"

NFL Upholds Monday Night's Seahawks' Win Over Packers; Also Believes Easter Bunny Leads League in Rushing

Conspiracy? NFL Currently Reviewing Zapacker Film Frame-by-Frame to Uncover Exactly What Happened Monday Night in the Grassy End Zone

SURVEY: NFL Fans Feel Last Night's "Goldengate" Packers' Game in Seattle More Controversial but Less Sexy Than 2004's "Nipplegate"

Lingerie Football League Files Restraining Order Against Replacement Refs: "We Don't Want Them Back!"

Police Respond to 911 Calls; Looking for Perp in Zebra Suit Who Robbed Packers Fans Monday Night

NFL Fans Dislike Replacement Refs; Favor Replacement Commissioner

Pissed-Off Packers Announcer Wayne Larrivee Finds New Place for His Dagger; Three NFL Replacement Refs Now Need Replacing

Matt Hasselbeck: We Want the Ball & We're Gonna Score" Golden Tate: "You Catch the Ball But We Get the Points"

Seahawks' Russell Wilson: First QB in NFL History to Throw a Game Winning Interception

Green Bay Packers Now Understand How Al Gore Felt

Fake Refs Relieved That Tonight's Controversial Packers-Seattle Game Wasn't Played in Wisconsin… During Hunting Season

Ed Hochuli Can't Stop Laughing

Fake Pizza Hut Aaron Rodgers Sacked 8-Times by Seahawks in 1st Half; Coach McCarthy to Put in Real Rodgers after Half

Former Packer Matt Flynn Doesn't Care Much for Wearing Those Seattle Seahawks Jerseys: "Do These Dark Blue Pants Make My Butt Look Big?"

Hell's Kitchen's Gordon Ramsey: "Seahawks Taste Just Like Chicken"

Crappy Seahawks Third-Stringer Wishes He Had Outlet for His Awesome Touchdown Dance

Jay Cutler's Brain: Future Me Needs to Go Back in Time and Punch Present Me in the Face

NFL: Practice Officials Need More Practice

Jay Cutler's Brain: "Truth Is, I Can't Keep Up With the Kardashians"

Ref Finds Matt Schaub's Bloody Ear Piece at Mile High Stadium Same Day Pat Bowlen Discovers Horse's Head in Broncos Owner's SkyBox

Dotted White Chalk Outline Still On Phoenix Stadium Field Where Cards Took Out Michael Vick

Replacement Refs Relieved Lions' Coach Jim Schwartz Blames Loud Fans for His Failed 4th & 1 OT Call

New Orleans Saints Football Fans Witness New Disaster: "Katrina Who?"

Jim Schwartz Has Officially Become the New Marty Mornhinweg

Replacement Refs Now Taking Requests

Detroit Lions' Back-Up QB Shaun Hill's Hail Mary Pass Ties Game 41-41 at End Of Regulation; Matthew Stafford Now Out-of-Work

Replacement Ref Throws Red Flag, Challenges His Own Call

CLARIFYING: Christian QB Currently Beating the 49ers NOT Tim Tebow

Chicago Bears and St. Louis Rams End 1st Quarter with a Touching "Football Follies" Tribute to Steve Sabol

Jay Cutler's Brain: "If I Pee on the Football, Will That Make It Mine?"

Panicked Vikings Unexpectedly Find Themselves Leading 49ers 7-0 in 1st; Not Sure How They Got There or What to Do Next

Disgruntled Football Fan Can't Wait Until Real Refs Return So He Can Yell, "You Guys Suck! Bring Back the Scabs!"

It May Be a New York Giants Game, But NFL Network Viewers are Seeing More Peyton than Eli

During Tonight's Televised Giants-Panthers Game, NFL Network Debuts Newton Cam

Replacement Refs Deduct 2-Points for "Poor Dismount" After Martellus Bennett's Riding-the-Bull End Zone TD Dance: Giants 5-Panthers 0

Known Photo-Bomber Aaron Rodgers Placed on Homeland Security's No-Fly List

Jay Cutler's Brain: "I'd Like to Think I'm Curing Cancer, One Interception at a Time"

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE: Packers' Clay Matthews Leads NFL in Sacks, Chicago's Jay Cutler Leads League in Sulks

Instead of Vikings' Games, Minnesota Fan's DVR Has Been Mysteriously Recording Episodes of "The Biggest Loser"

Broncos' Team Physician Cleared Peyton Manning's Neck, Would Now Like to Examine His Legs, Arms & Eyes

Peyton Manning Credits 4th Quarter Touchdown to Swapping His Gatorade for Tapenade

Broncos Fans Feeling a Bit Awkward Seeing All Those Peyton Manning Commercials Between Turnovers

Peyton Manning in A Wonderful Strife: "Every Time He Throws a Pick the Fairies Clip His Wings"

Peyton Manning Throws 3 Interceptions in 1st Quarter, or What Jay Cutler Would Call "A Good Day"

Broncos' QB Peyton Manning Sets New NFL Record for "Most Times Waving Off Punt Team"

Peyton Manning Tries to Convince Replacement Refs that Each Team Gets 8 Time Outs & 4 Do-Overs

Following 4th Broncos Turnover in Just the 1st Quarter John Elway Spotted Tebowing in Atlanta Skybox

Detroit Lions Feeling "Chippy" Prior to Match-Up with Niners

Lions-Niners Game is Opening Act to Real Show: Harbaugh-Schwartz Post-Game Handshake

Tonight's Lions-Niners Game: First Time Parole Officers Outnumber Press on Sidelines

FINAL: Jeff Fisher's Mustache 31-Washington Redskins III 28

FINAL: Those Ugly Neon Green Jerseys 27-Dallas Cowboys 7

If Jerry Jones Still Had His Old Face He'd Be Scowling Over Dallas Cowboys' Sucky Performance in Seattle Today

After Second Straight Loss, New Orleans Saints' Fans Think Their Players Could Use Some Incentive

FINAL: Commissioner Roger Goodell 35-New Orleans Saints 27

Ravens' WR Jacoby Jones Happy He Finally Gets to Use His Boo Boo Child-Inspired Football TD Dance Routine

Miami NFL Announcer: "DolphinSwim! DolphinSwim! DolphinSwim!"

Jay Cutler's Brain: "If We Ever Send Humans to the Sun it's Probably Best to Go at Night"

Clearly Tom Brady was Too Busy Learning the Dance Moves to "Gangnam Style" Instead of Preparing for Today's Arizona Game

Oakland Raiders Adopt Gangnam Style Defense

Minnesota Fans Hopeful Replacement NFL Refs Will Blow Enough Calls In Their Favor to Give Vikings a Chance at Winning a Few Games This Season

Mark Sanchez and Girlfriend Eva Longoria Unhappy After Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan Implements No-Cuddle Offense

NFL Plans to Replace Replacement Refs with Stadium Security Cameras in Effort to Reduce On-Field Penalties

Jay Cutler New Celebrity TV Pitchman for Life-Alert: "I've Been Sacked & I Can't Get Up!"

After Packers Sack Jay Cutler 7-Times, "Bear Down! Chicago Bears" Takes on Whole New Meaning

Jay Cutler Uses Up All of His Magic Football Mojo Making Baby With Cavallari Chick: "Kid Better Cure Cancer One Day"

Packers' Clay Matthews Spent So Much Time in Chicago's Backfield the Bears Accidentally Listed Him as One of Their Offensive Starters

Bears' Fan Fondly Harks Back to Those Rex Grossman Days

Bears' QB Jay Cutler Blamed 7-Sacks from Packers Defense on His Insecurities: "I Just Wanted a Hug"

During Halftime of the Bears' 23-10 Loss at Green Bay, Clint Eastwood Gave Pep-Talk to Chicago's Invisible Receivers

Jets' Coach Rex Ryan Reluctant to Cut Tim Tebow, Afraid He'll Be Turned into a Chubby Pillar of Salt

PACKERPAGE EXCUSIVE: Green Bay's Dreamboat MVP QB Aaron Rodgers Reveals in Exclusive Interview "I Shower Naked!"

TMZ Reports Brian Urlacher and Siri Now Dating

Following Lovie Smith's Statement That Brian Urlacher is the "Face of the Franchise," Commissioner Goodell Instructs the Chicago Bears to Shave Its Ass & Teach It to Walk Backwards

Brett Favre to Endorse New iPhone-5 with New Feature That Asks User "Are You Sure?" 7-Times Before Sending Dick Pics

NFL Confirms Deal with Footlocker to Continue Utilizing Their Employees as Replacement Refs for an Additional 5-Weeks

Delusional Colts Fanatic Adjusts Color & Hue on His Television to Make Peyton Manning's Broncos Jersey Look Blue & White

By-the-Numbers: Bears' QB Jay Cutler is 1-5 Against the Packers with 7 TD's, 11 Interceptions and 4 Hissy-Fits

Al Pacino to Take on the Role of Joe Paterno in Bio-Pic; Jeffrey Jones to Play Jerry Sandusky

Brett Favre's Pubes Show Up on Craig's List... Described as "Curly, Grey & Not Camera Shy"

Chicago QB Jay Cutler Tells Bears' Fans at Soldier Field to Shut-Up: "Hey… If This Job Was Easy, I'd Be Good At It"

Auto-Correct on Packers Public Relation's Computer Keeps Changing "Brian Urlacher" to "Dick McDickiface"

Dallas Cowboys' Owner Jerry Jones Discovers Replacement NFL Refs Cheaper to Bribe

BREAKING: Replacement NFL Refs Announce Plans to Unionize... and Then Go on Strike Next Week

After Peyton Manning Lead His Broncos to Victory Over the Steelers Yesterday, Denver Fans Immediately Lost Their Tebowners

Obama Approval Ratings Slip Slightly Among Packers Fans Day After the President Accepts "Bear Hug" from Supporter

BREAKING: Beer Will Not Be Sold at Lambeau Field This Season Because the Packers Lost Their Opener

Packers Fans Relieved They Now Won't Have to Worry About the Pressures of Working Towards a Perfect Season

Packers' Defense on a Mission to Keep Randy Moss's Pants On

Instead of a Coin Toss, Confused Replacement Refs Begin Today's Packers-Niners Game with a Jump Ball

Know the Difference: Adam Podlish is the Chicago Bears' Punter; Jay Cutler is the Chicago Bears' Pouter

Matthew Stafford's 2nd Half Game Strategy is to Continue Completing Passes, but Says He Will Now Try to Throw Them to His Own Receivers

Jacksonville Jaguars Hold 2nd Quarter 9-0 Lead Over Minnesota Vikings in Battle NOT to Move to LA

Chicago Bears' QB Jay Cutler Named as New TV Spokesperson for the Illinois Lottery's "Pick-6" Game

As Chicago Prepares for Their Game Against the Colts, the Only Luck Bears Will Have Today Will Be On the Other Team

Over/Under from Jimmy the Greek Still Decidedly Under… by About Six Feet

ESPN Dubs Green Bay Packers "Franchise of the Decade"… Minnesota Vikings: "Franchise of the Decadent"

As Green Bay Prepares for Home Opener vs. Niners, Packers' Fans More Concerned That Aaron Rodgers' May Be a Boyz II Men Fan

US Department of Education to Distribute Emergency Digraph Aid to Phonetically Strapped "Who Dat" Nation at Superdome During Saints' Home Opener

After Over 20-Years, World Health Organization Announces Ickey Shuffle Finally Totally Eradicated

Milwaukee Announcer Bob Uecker Sues Brewers Super Fan Over Her Use of Nickname "Front Row" Amy

Philadelphia Eagles' QB Michael Vick Questionable This Sunday With Injured Left Paw

Bounty Paper Towels Named New Corporate Stadium Sponsor of New Orleans Saints

Most Expensive Parking in NFL: $75 at Cowboys Stadium; Cheapest: $35 at Heinz Field (Not Including Cost of Towing, Replacing Missing Tires or Cleaning Urine Stains)

Penn State Head Coach Bill O'Brien Confident His Football Team Will Snap 111-Game Losing Streak Today

Because of a Buccaneers' TV Black-Out Due to Poor Ticket Sales, Tampa Stadium Announces Plans to Bring In Clint Eastwood at Halftime to Talk to Thousands of Empty Seats

Candidates Ask: "Are You Better Off Than You Were 4-Years Ago?" Green Bay Packers Fans Say "Yes!"

Do the Arithmetic:

• 2008 Packers: 6-10 and 3rd in Division
• 2009 Packers: 11-5 with a Playoff Appearance
• 2010 Packers: Super Bowl XLV Champs!
• 2011 Packers: An Amazing 15-1 Regular Season

Vote the Green (& Gold) Party!  Go Pack!

 Ted Thompson: "And I approved this message."

Updated Guinness "Book of Records" Now Lists World's Shortest Joke: "The Bears"

Minnesota Vikings Working with Old Navy to Print and Sell Team Super Bowl Championship T-Shirts

Undefeated and League-Leading Cowboys (1-0) to Be Honored by the Mayor of Dallas with Complimentary Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Cards

Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler Diagnosed with Paranoia & Procrastination; Thinks Everyone is Out to Get Him… Just Not Right Now

St. Louis Rams Plan to Kick Off their Season Opener by Distributing Complementary Imitation Jeff Fisher Mustaches; Bears Fans at Soldier Field to Get Free Mike Ditka Head-Lice Combs

Randy Moss: "I Will Give the 49ers 110% This Sunday in Green Bay… and Then 10% Less Each Following Week or Until I'm Traded to Another Team"

Courteous New York Giants Fans Wait Until 4th Quarter Before Beginning "Fire Coughlin" Chants

Final from Last Night: Dallas Cowboy 24 New York Giants 17 Bill Clinton 59

Minnesota Vikings Unanimously Designate Replacement Refs as Their Official Scapegoat for Sucking in 2012

NFL Kicks-Off 2012 Regular Season Tonight with Game Between (Not the Packers) vs. (Not the Packers) in the (Whatever) at (Who Cares) CDT

With Replacement Refs Calling NFL Games, Fantasy Football Leagues are Now Awarding Points to Players Who are Called for Double-Dribble

NFL Reminds Players that Bounties are Strictly Prohibited! (Except in Cases of Legitimate Asshats Akin to Michael Vick… Then, Go Nuts)

Clint Eastwood Fan, Zygi Wilf, Recently Caught Talking to Empty Super Bowl Trophy Case

WTFacts: The Cost of an NFL Franchise in 1920 was $100; Today You'd Be Pumped if You Found an Official Aaron Rodgers Jersey Under that Price

Mitt Romney Criticizes Vince Lombardi for Saying, "Winning Isn't" and "You Don't Do Things Right"

Dwindling Ticket Sales Force Buccaneers to Trade in Stadium Pirate Ship for Extremely Large Garbage Scow

Jets' Head Coach Rex Ryan Eats Team Roster Down to 53

Hefty Proposes Corporate Sponsorship of Minnesota Vikings' Metrodome, Citing "Uncanny Resemblance"

Chicago Bears' Equipment Manager Spotted Stocking Up on Chemical Ice Packs for Jay Cutler's Ass

DNC Trivia: Charlotte is Home to the Coca Cola 600 Which Paul Ryan Claims to Have Once Won on Foot

Mike Holmgren Finally Admits to Close Friends that He Works for the Cleveland Browns

Five Things Packers Fans Can Do To Honor Vince Lombardi

The greatest coach in the history of the National Football League passed away exactly 42-years ago today.  To celebrate the winning life of Vince Lombardi, here are five simple things every die-hard Green Bay Packers fan should do to honor his life today.

√ Grab a sharp, metal object and wedge a gap between your two front teeth.

√ Wear a fedora.

√ Grab a broom and clean your kitchen using the Power Sweep.

√ Establish a personal curfew and then threaten to fine yourself if you break it.

√ Every time someone approaches you, yell "What the hell's going on out here!" at the top of your lungs.

Little known Vince Lombardi quote: "Beaten Bears make good rugs."

NFL Fans Take Advantage of Last Sunday of Productivity Until February 2013

Jacksonville Jaguars Unveil New Team Marketing Slogan: "We Still Exist!"

Packers Fans Excited About Possible Wordplay Following the "ViQueens" Acquisition of WR Tori Gurley

Detroit Lions Players Enjoying Their Last Days of Crime Before Regular Season Begins Next Week

Tim Tebow Saddened That Tebowing has Taken Back-Seat to Eastwooding

As Packers Prepare for Home Opener, Coach McCarthy Ponders Tough Decision of Which Aaron Rodgers Back-Up QB Gets to Be Starting Clipboard Holder

Cleveland Browns Trim Roster Down to 53 Then Immediately List Them All as "Questionable"

Chicago Bears Forced to Release Jay Cutler Due to Strict NFL Restrictions Forbidding Female Players in League

Locked-Out NFL Refs Still Demanding Time-and-a-Half for Working Overtime Games

Mitt Romney Blames President Obama for Sudden Mass Job Losses in the NFL as All Teams Suddenly Cut Rosters Down to 53