Saturday, November 6, 2010

RANDY MOSS TAKES HIS BEEF TO TENNESSEE

(November 5, 2010) --- Just one month ago, Randy Moss gushed about rejoining the Minnesota Vikings. He felt fortunate to return to his first team and was looking forward to once again dining on lutefisk, wild rice and rainbow trout in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

But just one day after Moss' highly publicized rant during a Twin Cities team buffet, the happy reunion was suddenly over.


LEFT: Spoiled brat.  RIGHT: Spoiled brat.  Know the difference.

Vikings head coach Brad Childress informed his team during a meeting that the finicky wide receiver had been permanently removed from the squad's weekly reservation list. Childress stated, "We wish Randy the best as he moves forward with his particular dietary needs and tastes."

The PackerPage discovered Moss was fired from the Vikings when his brutally honest food reviews differed drastically from the rest of the staff. While most of the Vikings players "absolutely loved" last week's locker-room buffet, Moss gave the chicken and ribs two-thumbs down... and the round of beef he examined at the carving station faired no better. According to teammates, Moss shouted, "What the (expletive) is this? I wouldn't feed this (expletive expletive) to my (expletive) dog!"

Brett Favre, on the other hand, repeatedly claimed that he had enough to eat but was seen returning to the buffet table at least four-times.


Right about now former Vikings head coach Dennis Green is rolling over in his gravy.

Moss' brutal comments didn't sit well with boneless chicken-breast connoisseur Childress. "He said didn't like the surf & turf after our loss to the Jets... he bitched that our chicken wings were 'too spicy' after we dropped that game to the Packers... and last week he went on-and-on about how he missed Belichick's creamy New England clam chowder." Apparently, Childress was livid. "After four weeks of bad food reviews, I just came to the conclusion that there is no pleasing the guy, so we cut him loose."

Football fans will remember that it was just a little over a month ago when New England coach Bill Belichick released Moss from the team immediately after the receiver publicly stated the Patriots' clam chowder was too salty. Then strangely, just one month later, after the Vikings lost to his former Patriots team, Moss had a change-of-heart and redacted his chowder comments. He said, "I'm definitely down that Minnesota's food sucks. I don't remember it being this bland. I don't know how many more times I'll be in New England again. I don't know how many more times I'll taste that clam chowder again. But I stand here giving Boston and that thick white soup a salute. I love that chowder. I miss it. I'm out."

After being dumped by the Vikings last week, 21 teams in the league passed on the controversial NFL left-over until the Tennessee Titans cleared a place for him at their table. Head coach Jeff Fisher explained that they desperately needed to acquire a turkey in time for Thanksgiving.