Wednesday, May 5, 2010


(May 4, 2010) --- Recent heavy rainfall in the Nashville area has flooded the Tennessee Titans' stadium leaving LP Field under six-feet of water. Although mini-camps have gone on as scheduled, head coach Jeff Fisher has stringently instructed his players to stay out of the deep-end unless a lifeguard is on duty.

There was so much rain the stadium parking lots were completely submerged, at least 6-inches of water saturated the team's locker room, and Vince Young was spotted taking snaps with his Blue, Red and Silver colored water-wings.

What was once the Titans' end zone is now the Titans' no wake zone.

According to Titans owner Bud Adams, the flooding is simply the result of the ultimate clash for power that has pitted men against kings, and kings against gods. Before he was carried away wearing a pair of 3-D glasses Adams flipped everyone off and then declared, "We are in the middle of a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Liam Neeson and unleash hell on the NFL with that evil Cowboys mascot Kraken!"

In related news, Titans vendors announced that they will not be raising the price of the watered-down beer that's sold at LP Field this season... instead they’ll just be adding a tad bit more water.