Friday, May 14, 2010

JEWEL TO MOLLIFY AT INDY 500

(May 14, 2010) --- Officials at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway recently announced that singer-songwriter Jewel is slated to perform on May 30th as part of this year's Indianapolis 500.

Jewel is known for such soft-pop songs as "Who Will Save Your Soul," "You Were Meant for Me," "You Were Meant to Save My Soul," "Hands," "Ears (Can You Hear Me Back There)" and "My Barely Audible Love Song."

Gentlemen, start your engines!

Because of her tranquil, sedate and soothing angelic voice, race officials had to make a few changes for this year's event to accommodate the award-winning performer. Indianapolis 500 president Jeff Belskus said that noise was never a problem before as previous acts have included Aerosmith, Kid Rock and Better Than Ezra. Belskus explained, "In order for anyone to hear Jewel's delicate singing during her concert and especially when she performs the National Anthem just before the waving of the green flag, all cars participating in this year's race must be customized with special mufflers to illuminate engine noise.

"Hey, it's not easy being pretty... or putting on make-up while turning corners at 200-miles per hour."

Not all race teams were especially thrilled with having to add modified internal combustion silencers to their engines but a few looked at it as an opportunity. Race participant Danica Patrick said, "When my car-fixers hitched-up that big metal thingy that hushes-up all that noise my motor makes when it's going, my manager slapped a big ol’ "Go Daddy!" sticker on it and made me a bunch more money! Yeay money!"

Incidentally, the Indianapolis race committee also disclosed that they are trying to secure legendary actor Jack Nicholson to wave the green flag this year and to start the race with that iconic phrase... "Heeeeere's Johnny!"