(March 12, 2010) --- The PackerPage has recently discovered plans that some very smart people in Hollywood will finally be making a movie about the greatest coach in the history of sports. No, not Matt Millen motor-head! (Although for many years he did keep the number of teams in the NFC North down to just three.) We're talking Vincent Thomas Lombardi!
Scene from "Lombardi": "What the hell's going on out there? Hey Halas, you talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Grab, grab, grab! Who the heck do you think you're talking to? Just a minute... the Don Hutson is semi-retired and I'm in charge of the family business now! And remember, you son-of-a-bitch... winning is not everything, it is the only thing."
The film, which will chronicle the years Vince-the-Great took the Green Bay Packers from the "Sorry Years" to the "Glory Years," is set to be released just days before the Packers play the San Diego Chargers in Super Bowl XLV early next year.
Picked to play the role of the Hall of Fame coach will be Academy Award winning performer Robert De Niro ("Godfather," "Raging Bull," "The Fan"), a method actor who says he is preparing for his role by having an orthodontist place a permanent gap between his two front teeth.
Tentatively slated to play the role of Lombardi's arch nemesis... Chicago Bears head coach George Halas... is some disgruntled, mentally deranged old man which casting found wandering outside an LA WalMart who just happened to escape from the I-Once-Was-A-Star Retirement Home & Flop House in West Hollywood.
Also, don't look for Brad Pitt starring as wholesome quarterback Bart Starr... Leonardo DiCaprio as ladies-man and halfback Paul "The Golden Boy" Hornung... Nicolas Cage to play curfew-breaker and receiver Max McGee... Vin Diesel taking on the role-of-his-life as tough-as-nails linebacker Ray Nitschke... and "Star Wars" actor Kenny Baker as the Super Bowl trophy.
Incidentally, "Lombardi" producers were at first considering a film about the life of legendary Alabama football coach Paul Bryant, but backers scrapped the idea after learning obscenity laws in Wisconsin would prevent the release of any movie in the state that featured the word "Bear" in its title.