Thursday, November 5, 2009


(November 5, 2009) --- Hose down the sidewalks and hide the hookers, it’s time for New Yorkers to celebrate World Series win number 27!

“Start spreadin' da boos...”

Last night the New York Yankees defeated the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies 7-3 in Game-6, winning their very first World Series crown since way, waaaay back in 2000. Yes, New York’s long national nightmare is over... and all 8-year old Yankee fans can now sleep peacefully knowing they have finally seen a Major League Baseball Championship. It’s now just a matter of time until Derek Jeter’s glove, Hideki Matsui’s bat and Kate Hudson’s arse will all be inducted into the New York Yankee Hall-of-Fame.

Bud Selig celebrating the victory.

Although the win was inspiring for all arsonists, looters and car-tippers in the Big Apple, it was especially exciting for Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui’s translator. In post-game interviews A-Roid seemed major-league thrilled with baseball’s top crown, his eight-figure salary and the fact the championship came during the Yankee’s first year in their brand new 1.5-billion dollar ballpark. As Jorge Steinbrenner may have said as he slowly disappeared into the cornfield, “If you build it, they will succumb... and I will ruuule the World!!!! um... Series. (evil laugh).”

But then again, when you spend 100-million dollars more than the team with the second-highest payroll, you probably should win a World Series every once in a while.

Just sayin’!

It’s just too darn bad for Milwaukee baseball fans that the team pays its players in bratwurst.