Monday, October 26, 2009

FIND A CURE... PUNT THE PURPLE!

(October 26, 2009) --- PackerPage sources have learned the identity of this week’s Packer Pro Shop charity cap.

As you know, the Packers have pioneered the use of specially-colored baseball caps to raise funds for team charities, beginning with the original pink “Breast Cancer Awareness” cap and followed in succession by the red “Heart Disease” cap, the stonewashed black “Support Our Troops” military cap and the popular hunter-orange “Hunger Awareness” cap.

Reliable sources have told the PackerPage that this month’s hat will be a light violet twill cap designed to promote awareness of a recently-discovered disorder known colloquially as “Brett Cancer,” a disorder that cripples one’s sense of loyalty and self-esteem and hampers one’s ability to make decisions and stand by them. All proceeds from sales of the “Brett Cancer Awareness” caps will be split between the Charlie Brown Memorial Home for the Wishy-Washy in St. Paul and the Hennepin County Center for the Morally Impaired.

Purple... to match Brett's face after the Vikings choke later in the season.

In related news, the Detroit Lions announced they will soon be selling their own fundraising headwear: a royal-blue “Grandiose Delusional Dementia Awareness” stocking-cap. It’s made of 100-percent wool, features the Super Bowl logo, and has enough material to easily be pulled over the eyes.

-Packer Dave Mitchell (#1165)