Tuesday, October 13, 2009

AFL THROWBACKS: THROW THEM BACK!

(October 13, 2009) --- Where’s Richard Blackwell when you need him?

In an effort to embarrass almost half the players in the league, the AFL has been celebrating their 50th anniversary by forcing some of the teams to occasionally don retro-jerseys. Some may have looked kinda okay... but you’d have to admit that others were more throw-up than throwback. Think about it: How would you feel if you were told you had to go to work the next day wearing what your father wore in 1962. Unless your dad looked and dressed just like Don Draper, you’d “haaaate-it!!!”

Retro Broncos: Looks sort of like somebody had diarrhea after a corn-eating contest. (Sorry.)

Now usually when you see something yellow and brown you have an urge to flush. Well, the poor Denver Broncos didn’t have that option. The garish pee and poop color-combo they wore on the field last Sunday had many a Denver Bronco football fan wishing for the good ole' days of black & white television. But when you consider the fact the Broncos are 5-0 so far this season, well, it just proves that it's hard to play against a team... when you're laughing so damn hard!

The American Football League, which merged with the NFL in 1970, played its first season in 1960 with eight teams... all of which recently dug deep into their closets for those crazy costumes of football past.

They include the Buffalo Bills (featuring the logo of a silhouetted blood-red buffalo... allegedly slaughtered by O.J.); the San Diego Chargers (with a pair of bolts near their dolts); the Kansas City-Dallas Texan-Chiefs (and the silhouetted logo of the Lone Star State which just confuses the already intoxicated football fans of Missouri); the Boston-New England Patriots (...but wasn’t Paul Revere & his Raiders originally from Idaho?); the Oakland Raiders (“...it's like, how much more black could this be? ...and the answer is, ‘none’.”); the Tennessee-Houston Oiler Titans (with an image of an oil derrick... how crude!); the Titans of New York Jets (“T - I - T - S... tits, tits, tits!”); and the afore mentioned Denver Broncos (wearing helmets that look like the players have brown bowling balls on their shoulders).

Little known AFL fact: Patriot Pat and Bucco Bruce were once "life partners."

Incidentally, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers... who first joined the league as an AFL team 33-years ago... is also getting in on the retro-football festivities. But instead of dressing like they did in 1976, the Bucs decided to play like they did in 1976.