Thursday, September 10, 2009


(September 10, 2009) --- Did you hear the news? Jerry Greene picked the Pack to win the Super Bowl this season.

Jerry Greene smuggling brats out of Lambeau Field, circa 1977.

Okay, someone call a doctor... or maybe buy the big-guy a drink. Did the veteran Orlando Sentinel sports writer consume one too many Johnsonvilles? Did he accidentally bump his head while trying to retrieve a fallen nacho-cheese chip from under his kitchen table? Has Nostradumbass finally come to his senses... or is he just messing with us again?

As many Packer Backers know, Jerry Greene has made a living dissing the Pack since the days when head coach Bart Starr banished the journalist from Lambeau (ah... long involved story supposedly involving Bart, bras and a brat). So when Greene recently predicted the 2009 Packers would finish on top of their division, end the season with the best record in the NFC and win Super Bowl XLIV... hundreds of Central Florida Packer Backers suddenly became very worried.

Greene's 2009 NFL predictions. Graphic stolen... ah, borrowed from

That’s because over the past dozen or so years, whenever Jerry would pick the Pack to lose, they would often win... and those days when he predicted Green Bay would pick up a “W,” they would somehow find a way to drop the game. That’s why CFPB members now consider a Jerry Greene endorsement “bad luck” to the point most superstitious Packer Backers would pray he would go against Green Bay each and every week.

U.S. congressman Joe Wilson shocked many across the country Wednesday night when he shouted, “You lie!” after reading Jerry Greene’s Carolina Panthers prognostications for the upcoming NFL season.

After Greene’s predictions were first broadcast earlier this week (on ESPN Radio 1080 'The Team' with Marc Daniels) foretelling that Green Bay would win Super Bowl XLIV, the Central Florida Packer Backer club in Orlando wasted little time publishing their own press release regarding the matter:

“We the people of the Central Florida Packer Backers do not endorse any opinions, comments and/or predictions that Mr. Jerry Greene has made related to our beloved team, the Green Bay Packers. With the release of Jerry Greene’s comments, we feel that it is prudent to rebuke his predictions in order to insure the success of the Packers 2009 season. Mr. Greene’s predictions will not assure him re-entry into Lambeau Field. We implore Mr. Greene to reconsider his predictions. GO PACK! (…and the Bears Still Suck!)”
---Central Florida Packer Backers
In related news, to separate themselves from being anyway associated with Sentinel sportsdude Jerry Greene and his recent pigskin picks, the New York Jets changed their team’s jersey colors to Periwinkle and White while the owner of the Dallas Cowboys now answers to the name “Fred.”