Wednesday, December 23, 2009

UNDERSTANDING THE NFL PLAY-OFF PICTURE

(December 23, 2009) --- With the regular season winding down, the NFL play-off picture may seem a little bit blurred... except, of course, for the fact that once again... the Bears still suck.

Well the PackerPage is here to take that blurred play-off picture, add a bit of cheese, and smear it around just a little bit to try to explain the "who's" and "how's" of the NFL post-season.

NFL Commish Roger Goodell determining the 2010 schedule.

Now the Saints, Vikings, Cards, Colts and Eagles have all somehow clinched a spots in the NFC play-offs and everyone knows the Indianapolis Colts (14-0) are a shoe-in to end the season undefeated and cruise to the Super Bowl. That is unless Larry Csonka, Bob Griese and Nick Bounticonti run into Peyton Mannings in a dark alley somewhere within the next couple of days. But what about all the other teams that are battling for one of those few remaining play-off slots?

Well here (for your head-scratching enjoyment) is a PackerPage breakdown of each team's chances of making it into the NFL post-season.


NFC

Minnesota Vikings
...can clinch a first-round bye with:
1. a win and a Philadelphia loss or tie, OR
2. a Minnesota tie and Philadelphia loss; AND
3. if Brett Favre doesn't retire this week.

Philadelphia Eagles
...can clinch the NFC East division with:
1. a win and a Dallas loss or tie, OR
2. a tie and a Dallas loss, OR
3. if the Cowboys don't show up to their last two regular season games.

New Orleans Saints
...can clinch Home-Field advantage if:
1. the Saints go marching in.

Green Bay Packers
...can clinch a playoff spot with:
1. a win and a NY Giants loss or tie, OR
2. a win and a Dallas loss, OR
3. a tie and a NY Giants loss, AND
4. a defense that gets their heads out of their asses.

Dallas Cowboys
...can clinch a playoff spot with:
1. a win and a NY Giants loss or tie, AND
2. a lot of cheating.


AFC

San Diego Chargers
...can see a play-off game by:
1. buying their tickets through Ticketmaster, OR
2. watching it on TV like the rest of us slugs.

New England Patriots
...can clinch AFC East division title with:
1. a win or tie, OR
2. a Miami loss or tie, AND
3. an extra sensitive zoom-lense.

Cincinnati Bengals
...can clinch AFC North division title with:
1. a win and a Jacksonville loss or tie with a NY Jets loss or tie, a Denver loss, a Pittburgh loss or tie and a Denver loss (oh wait, we've already said that) and a Miami loss. Did we also mention that Tennessee's team plane has to breakdown, swine flu must infect all members of the Jaguars, Dolphins, Titans and Oilers and the final score of their last regular-season game must add up to a whole prime number that is divisable by 2, AND
2. a lawyer to figure all this stuff out.

Baltmore Ravens
...can clinch a playoff spot with:
1. a win, AND
2. another win, OR
3. a move back to Indianapolis.

Denver Broncos
...can clinch a playoff spot when:
1. pigs fly, OR
2. hell freezes over, OR
3. monkeys fly out of your butt.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

EM-BEAR-ASSED!

(November 24, 2009) --- Janet Jackson’s NFL moment was finally topped! Or, should we say, bottomed.

And keep in mind that all this didn’t occur in the first quarter, second quarter or even the third quarter... it happened in the hindquarter!

Last Sunday the Chicago Bears were more than a little behind. While trailing the Philadelphia Eagles with less than two-minutes left in the game, Bears veteran Devin Hester ran a slant pattern butt dropped more than just the football.

In an attempt to prevent Hester from catching the ball on a 3rd-and-one play, Eagles cornerback Dimitri Patterson horse-collared Hester about 20-inches too low and unintentionally de-pantsed da-Bears receiver exposing his backside on national TV.

The PackerPage apologizes in advance for posting this offensive picture of someone wearing a Chicago Bears jersey.

And we thought Jay Cutler was the big ass in Chicago.

Seeing Hester’s hiney apparently didn’t inspire his teammates as Cutler threw an interception a couple of plays later effectively canning the game for the Bears.

In the end there was a bit good news-bad news regarding a certain Bears’ booty. The good news is Devin picked up an endorsement deal with Heineken... the bad news is that he was fined after Roger Goodell heard about Hester’s crack on the field.

In related news, Brian Urlacher shaved his legs and wrecked ‘em.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

BAD CHAD

(November 14, 2009) --- "The kickback is corrupt..."

Last week Cincinnati Bengals receiver Loco Ocho Cinco tried bribing an NFL referee during his team’s game against the Baltimore Ravens.

With the Bengals up 14-3 in the third quarter, Ocho caught a 15-yard Carson Palmer pass near the sideline. The side judge ruled it a catch, but the Ravens argued that Ocho’s zapato was out of bounds. While the ref was reviewing the play on the sideline, Ocho borrowed a dollar bill from an assistant coach and playfully tried to slip the George Washington into the hands of another official with the hopes their review of the play would go Cincy’s way.


Here's a nice picture of Ocho Cinco trying to grease the palm of one of the zebras. By-the-way, ain't the Bengals team colors Orange and Blackmail?

Well, the ref was clearly appalled. A dollar? Come on!

Apparently the going rate for having an NFL official alter a call is $20,000… at least according to the latest Dallas Cowboys bribing rate card. And the last time a player bought-off a referee for less than a five-spot was almost 90-years ago when the Staleys were miraculously winning games in Chicago.

Minus the one-dollar already in the hands of the refs, the officials have amended their demands on Mr. Cinco and are now only extorting $19,999.

Talk about refereemuneration.

We’ll be back right grafter this…

Friday, November 13, 2009

TAILGATE ALERT... FREE FOOD!!!

(November 13, 2009) --- Don’t forget to join all of your Packer pals for the pre-game tailgate happening before the Packers-Cowboys game this Sunday afternoon (11/15/09) from 12:30 to 3:30pm at the Waitiki Lounge in the Wall Street Plaza (15 N. Orange Avenue) in downtown Orlando! There will be lots of free food for all CFPB members including yummy Johnsonville brats, Chris’s German potato salad and other tasty tailgate treats! Please pass the word to all your Packer pals!

Don't forget to grab your Johnsonville this Sunday at the Waitiki... hell, it don't cost nuthin'! So whadya say? Get off you dupa and join the groupa!

Then after you fill your tummy with all that great food we’ll all head next door to One Eyed Jack’s for the Green Bay-Dallas game where there will be lots of great prizes including a 2-day stay at Disney’s Lake Buena Vista Resort! Ooooh... nice! Click here for more info!

But wait! There's more!

Be sure to mark your calendars for the Packer Backer social event of the year! It’s the San Francisco Forty-Winer and Cheesehead Social on Sunday, November 22, 2009! Who says we Packer people ain’t sophisticated? Put on your finest Green Bay t-shirt, extend your pinky finger and then join the CFPB club as we sample a variety of wonderful Wisconsin cheeses and several bottles of wine. Paper bag not included.

Also on that same Sunday, November 22nd, you'll have a chance to win a pair of Lambeau Leap game tickets! Yes, you heard right! Some lucky CFPB member with good attendance at One Eyed Jack’s will win a pair of “Lambeau Leap” tickets to the Packers-Seahawks game on December 27, 2009 at Lambeau Field! Remember… you must be present to win.

Here's a nice picture of Gary and Jack Badzinski, last year's Lambeau Leap ticket winners! Every year is a Leap Year for the CFPB club!

And don’t forget to bring your family and friends for a CFPB holiday gathering… it’s the Detroit Turkey-Day Pot-Luck Banquet on Thursday, November 26, 2009. Come celebrate Thanksgiving with the rest of your CFPB family at One Eyed Jack’s! As usual we’ll supply the turkey… all we ask is that you bring a tasty dish to the table to share with all your Packer pals.

The Thanksgiving party begins at 12:30pm. We’ll feed our faces while we watch our Packers pick-apart the Detroit Turkeys... and then we’ll all take a nap during the Dallas game.

Then last time we had our CFPB Thanksgiving Feast there was beaucoup food... and this was just the pie table! Mmmm... pie.

Please take a moment to check out our CFPB Event Schedule so you don’t miss out on all the fun and games and prizes. In fact, print out a copy and post it on your refrigerator. Why? Well because it will burn on the stove, silly!

See you this Sunday at the tailgate!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

TED NUGENT + JACK BLADES + TOMMY SHAW =

(November 5, 2009) --- Hose down the sidewalks and hide the hookers, it’s time for New Yorkers to celebrate World Series win number 27!

“Start spreadin' da boos...”

Last night the New York Yankees defeated the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies 7-3 in Game-6, winning their very first World Series crown since way, waaaay back in 2000. Yes, New York’s long national nightmare is over... and all 8-year old Yankee fans can now sleep peacefully knowing they have finally seen a Major League Baseball Championship. It’s now just a matter of time until Derek Jeter’s glove, Hideki Matsui’s bat and Kate Hudson’s arse will all be inducted into the New York Yankee Hall-of-Fame.

Bud Selig celebrating the victory.

Although the win was inspiring for all arsonists, looters and car-tippers in the Big Apple, it was especially exciting for Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui’s translator. In post-game interviews A-Roid seemed major-league thrilled with baseball’s top crown, his eight-figure salary and the fact the championship came during the Yankee’s first year in their brand new 1.5-billion dollar ballpark. As Jorge Steinbrenner may have said as he slowly disappeared into the cornfield, “If you build it, they will succumb... and I will ruuule the World!!!! um... Series. (evil laugh).”

But then again, when you spend 100-million dollars more than the team with the second-highest payroll, you probably should win a World Series every once in a while.

Just sayin’!

It’s just too darn bad for Milwaukee baseball fans that the team pays its players in bratwurst.

Monday, November 2, 2009

OH, THOSE CRAZY* RAIDERS

(November 2, 2009) --- It seems that Tom Cable treats women like John Madden treats turducken.

Ever since the Oakland Raiders head coach “accidentally” broke assistant coach Randy Hanson’s jaw during an altercation last August, news of other “fits of rage” have reared their fugly head.

Three women, including two former wives and a recent girlfriend, claim Coach Cable has a history of violent behavior toward women. To provide some perspective, a veteran Oakland Raiders tackling dummy told the PackerPage that even he was treated better.

He looks like the kind of guy who lets his kids light fireworks with a cigarette.

The Napa County DA’s office explained that Cable merely “bumped” into Hanson's chair knocking him over and that's why he now talks out of his left ear. Apparently, the fist-imprint on Hanson’s chin was just a coincidence.

Please Al... disconnect the Cable. Go mireless.

(*crazy... ie: “F’ed Up.”)

Monday, October 26, 2009

FIND A CURE... PUNT THE PURPLE!

(October 26, 2009) --- PackerPage sources have learned the identity of this week’s Packer Pro Shop charity cap.

As you know, the Packers have pioneered the use of specially-colored baseball caps to raise funds for team charities, beginning with the original pink “Breast Cancer Awareness” cap and followed in succession by the red “Heart Disease” cap, the stonewashed black “Support Our Troops” military cap and the popular hunter-orange “Hunger Awareness” cap.

Reliable sources have told the PackerPage that this month’s hat will be a light violet twill cap designed to promote awareness of a recently-discovered disorder known colloquially as “Brett Cancer,” a disorder that cripples one’s sense of loyalty and self-esteem and hampers one’s ability to make decisions and stand by them. All proceeds from sales of the “Brett Cancer Awareness” caps will be split between the Charlie Brown Memorial Home for the Wishy-Washy in St. Paul and the Hennepin County Center for the Morally Impaired.

Purple... to match Brett's face after the Vikings choke later in the season.

In related news, the Detroit Lions announced they will soon be selling their own fundraising headwear: a royal-blue “Grandiose Delusional Dementia Awareness” stocking-cap. It’s made of 100-percent wool, features the Super Bowl logo, and has enough material to easily be pulled over the eyes.

-Packer Dave Mitchell (#1165)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

PRIME TIME PACKERS

(October 13, 2009) --- The NFL just announced that the Green Bay-Minnesota rematch set for Sunday, November 1st has been moved from a 1pm (ET) kickoff to a 4pm start because the FOX TV network realized they have an opportunity to make a lot more moolah.

The Philadelphia Phillies are in the National League Championship and if they win that series, the Phillies will host Game-4 of the World Series at 7pm on November 1st. So, to avoid a cluster-Philly, the NFL and FOX decided to flip-flop the Vikings at Packers and Giants at Eagles games that same day.

"...Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Brett Brett Brett Rodgers Favre Favre..."

Although the talking-heads at FOX say they do have a great sports programming line-up scheduled for that Sunday, they admit they’re more excited that they’ll now have three additional hours to incessantly utter Brett Favre’s name.

AFL THROWBACKS: THROW THEM BACK!

(October 13, 2009) --- Where’s Richard Blackwell when you need him?

In an effort to embarrass almost half the players in the league, the AFL has been celebrating their 50th anniversary by forcing some of the teams to occasionally don retro-jerseys. Some may have looked kinda okay... but you’d have to admit that others were more throw-up than throwback. Think about it: How would you feel if you were told you had to go to work the next day wearing what your father wore in 1962. Unless your dad looked and dressed just like Don Draper, you’d “haaaate-it!!!”

Retro Broncos: Looks sort of like somebody had diarrhea after a corn-eating contest. (Sorry.)

Now usually when you see something yellow and brown you have an urge to flush. Well, the poor Denver Broncos didn’t have that option. The garish pee and poop color-combo they wore on the field last Sunday had many a Denver Bronco football fan wishing for the good ole' days of black & white television. But when you consider the fact the Broncos are 5-0 so far this season, well, it just proves that it's hard to play against a team... when you're laughing so damn hard!

The American Football League, which merged with the NFL in 1970, played its first season in 1960 with eight teams... all of which recently dug deep into their closets for those crazy costumes of football past.

They include the Buffalo Bills (featuring the logo of a silhouetted blood-red buffalo... allegedly slaughtered by O.J.); the San Diego Chargers (with a pair of bolts near their dolts); the Kansas City-Dallas Texan-Chiefs (and the silhouetted logo of the Lone Star State which just confuses the already intoxicated football fans of Missouri); the Boston-New England Patriots (...but wasn’t Paul Revere & his Raiders originally from Idaho?); the Oakland Raiders (“...it's like, how much more black could this be? ...and the answer is, ‘none’.”); the Tennessee-Houston Oiler Titans (with an image of an oil derrick... how crude!); the Titans of New York Jets (“T - I - T - S... tits, tits, tits!”); and the afore mentioned Denver Broncos (wearing helmets that look like the players have brown bowling balls on their shoulders).

Little known AFL fact: Patriot Pat and Bucco Bruce were once "life partners."

Incidentally, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers... who first joined the league as an AFL team 33-years ago... is also getting in on the retro-football festivities. But instead of dressing like they did in 1976, the Bucs decided to play like they did in 1976.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

CENTRAL FLORIDA PACKER PICTURE

(October 10, 2009) --- A couple of weeks ago Packer Brian (#777), (one of our CFPB head-cheeses), invited artist, illustrator and journalist Thomas Thorspecken to stop by our clubhouse to check out our very animated group of Packer Backers at One Eyed Jack's in downtown Orlando. Brian had heard of Thorspecken's work through his on-line blogsite and was so impressed he invited (translation: bribed him with beer) the talented artist to check out our club and hopefully put us to paint. Well he did... and after a couple Miller Lites and using up all of his green and gold colors, Thomas came up with something very frameable.

Just a few of the Picasso Pusses in the Central Florida Packer Backers club that were captured by Mr. Thornspecken's brush.

You see, since the beginning of this year, Thorspecken has been posting an impressive sketch-a-day on his website documenting the people and culture of the city of Orlando. And since he actually did stop by (during the Packers-Bengals game on September 20th) to sketch the friendly beer-swilling green-and-gold-wearing polka-party-people of the Central Florida Packer Backers, I just guess that means we have culture too! Now that's good to know!

And hey, Picasso puss... look closely at his very colorful CFPB sketch! You never know... he just may have accidentally sketched your fugly mugly! So when you have a moment, please check out Mr. Thorspecken's blogsite, it really is pretty cool... and leave a nice comment if you wish.

BTW... who's the dude in the Favre jersey? Hmmm... must not have gotten the memo.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

WE'RE GOIN' UP NORTH TO PUT THE WORD TO THE STREETS!

(October 8, 2009) --- Dressed like Hasidic Diamond merchants, Packers offensive coordinator Joe “Jake” Philbin and offensive line coach James “Elwood” Campen recently walked into Kroll’s (Green Bay’s closest thing to a soul food restaurant) and ordered 4 whole butter burgers, dry white toast... and a Coke. They may have looked like they were with the FBI, but they’re not the police… they’re bruisicians.

You see, the Bruise Brothers are on a mission. A mission to put their offensive line back together. A mission from St. Vince.

Cheeseheads: "We hate Illinois Nazis."

They already got Dapper Daryn Colledge and Jivin’ Jason Spitz… but the Bruise Brothers are on a mission to seal up the GB O-Line by reuniting Marvelous Mark Tauscher and Charming Chad Clifton to back-up and cover Amazing Aaron Rodgers just in time to play the Detroit Good Ole Boys.

So, don’t miss the return of the Bruise Brothers and their “Mayhem and Bruise Review...” Sunday, October 18th at the Lambeau Palladium.

Our Lady of Blessed Dispelleration, don't fail us now!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

YOU BRETT WE'LL BE AARON IT OUT!

(October 2, 2009) --- The countdown is on! Just three days until Aaron Rodgers takes on Brent Favre in Minnesoso. It should be an exciting game no matter what the outcome (ie: Packers by 30 or Packers by just 1)! And while you’re watching the action (hopefully with the rest of the Packer Party Crew at One Eyed Jack’s in downtown Orlando) expect one record to be shattered on Monday night: the total number of times Favre’s name is mentioned during a football telecast. So much so John Madden will have wished that he unretired too!

And for those who have prior commitments and will not be able to see this highly touted Packers game, here’s what you should be hearing on the Vikings Sports Radio Network come Monday night :
-(First quarter, following the first Favre-thrown interception of the game) “Well, he used to play for Green Bay... you know, I’m sure it must have been a slip of the ol’ memory there.”

-(Second quarter, after Favre’s second interception) “Man, he must have had a flashback and thought he was throwing to Donald Driver.”

-(Third quarter, when Favre tosses away another one) “You know, he’s just like a kid out there, trying to make everyone on both sides feel like a winner. Whadda great guy!”

-(Final quarter, just after Favre’s fourth pick) “Ah dammit... why did we sign that guy again?”

Quick PackerPage prediction: Green Bay 31-Minnesota 9.

Final Deep Thoughts: “No matter how you look at it, 12 minus 4 will always equal 8.” *

* (Ah... don't worry... we don’t know what that means either.)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU BRENT

(September 27, 2009) --- With both teams coming off big wins today, the Green Bay-Minnesota game scheduled for next week Monday night (October 5th) at the HHH Humpty-Dome promises to be great television. Can Aaron out-throw Brent... will Favre try and stick it to Thompson... how many picks will #4 toss? And the question that’s on everyone’s minds... Just what kind of anti-Favre shirts will we see at the game?

To give you an idea of just how creative some jaded Favre-fans have been, check out a few of the pictures on our Facebook “Favre Foto Funnies” Page.

"Judas and Cheeses"

Oh yeah... one more thing! We hope you’ll join us for the MNF Packer Party at CFPB headquarters at One Eyed Jack’s in downtown Orlando. Along with all the great Packer prizes we’ll be giving away, keep in mind it’ll also be “Leinenkugel Beer Pong Night!” Be there or be Bear!

Friday, September 25, 2009

IF YOU SAY YOU LIKE DETROIT... YOU'RE LYIN'!

(September 24, 2009) --- If you’re unlucky enough to reside in Detroit, we have some really good news for you!

While you’re sitting on your ottoman this Sunday afternoon flicking through the channels looking for something to watch on the boob-tube, you won’t have to worry about getting that deep pain in your stomach by accidentally stumbling upon another Detroit Lions football debacle.

Who knew the Unknown Comic was a Lions fan?
You see, as a public service to a big chunk of Michiganiganites, the NFL blacked-out the sports broadcast. The last few remaining Lions fans in and around Detroit will not be able to see their team play the Washington Redskins this Sunday afternoon... that is unless they are actually delusional and stupid enough to go to Ford Field.

As of yesterday, 10,000 tickets were left unsold which will make this the sixth blackout in the last eight home games for Detroit... all part of the owner's dastardly plan to move the team to Los Angeles.

But no worries! The whole blackout thing wouldn’t have mattered anyway as most Lions football fans have already made big plans to gather together in front of the WE channel for this Sunday’s “Bridezillas” marathon.

In other news, there seems to be another paper-bag shortage at supermarkets in and around Ford Field.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

HOODWINKO CINCO

True definition of a "Hanging Chad."

(September 23, 2009) --- The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel recently reported that the three Cincinnati fans which Bengals receiver Ocho Cinco jumped into last Sunday at Lambeau Field were plants! (Well, ficus!)

Yep! When Ocho announced (Tweeted) last week that he wanted to do the “Lambeau Leap” during their game against the Packers in Green Bay on September 20th, three Cincinnati fans volunteered to help him out if Ocho bought them front row, end zone tickets... which he did. All three dressed in Bengal orange... and since it wasn’t hunting season quite yet, the trio of Cincy fans stood out pretty darn good. So when Ocho Stinko scored on a 13-yard touchdown pass in the 3rd quarter he searched for his brightly colored cronies in section 107 and then he went and did it... a “Lambeau (BLEEP).” Most Packers fans considered the post-TD celebration pacrilegious and booed the receiver while some of the more immediate Packer Backers tried to push him away. One flipped-off a Cincinnati journalist.

"We're #1"

But overall, Green Bay fans just couldn’t believe someone could be so rude. What's next... you gonna try and tell us that Ocho Cinco isn't his real name?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

JERRY JONES: CAUGHT ON TAPE!

(September 20, 2009) --- Just after Tony Romo got picked off for a touchdown, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones got caught on camera doing some picking of his own. Picking your nose is so much more satisfying when you’re doing it in your brand new $1.1 billion stadium. The camera cut away after the lengthy clip of Jerry digging for gold, but presumably the result was then either flicked on a Texas taxpayer down below or put in his pocket for use in his next plastic surgery.

Because a picture is worth a thousand absurds, we couldn't just pick one great caption. So we're giving you a choice. Go ahead! Choose your caption! If you have a better one, e-mail it to us (through the link at the bottom of this page).

A... Hey, you never know where you might find oil in Texas.
B... Looks like it turned out this was the only winner Jerry picked this week.
C... Five bucks says he eats it.
D... I guess the Cowboys owner didn't want to blow it.
E... Despite building a beautiful brand new one-billion dollar stadium, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones still nose how to put the “ass” in “classy."

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

PACKERPAGE POLL

PackerPage Poll from September 15, 2009.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

GREENE PICKS PACK (AND NOSE)

(September 10, 2009) --- Did you hear the news? Jerry Greene picked the Pack to win the Super Bowl this season.

Jerry Greene smuggling brats out of Lambeau Field, circa 1977.

Okay, someone call a doctor... or maybe buy the big-guy a drink. Did the veteran Orlando Sentinel sports writer consume one too many Johnsonvilles? Did he accidentally bump his head while trying to retrieve a fallen nacho-cheese chip from under his kitchen table? Has Nostradumbass finally come to his senses... or is he just messing with us again?

As many Packer Backers know, Jerry Greene has made a living dissing the Pack since the days when head coach Bart Starr banished the journalist from Lambeau (ah... long involved story supposedly involving Bart, bras and a brat). So when Greene recently predicted the 2009 Packers would finish on top of their division, end the season with the best record in the NFC and win Super Bowl XLIV... hundreds of Central Florida Packer Backers suddenly became very worried.

Greene's 2009 NFL predictions. Graphic stolen... ah, borrowed from TheBeatOfSports.com.

That’s because over the past dozen or so years, whenever Jerry would pick the Pack to lose, they would often win... and those days when he predicted Green Bay would pick up a “W,” they would somehow find a way to drop the game. That’s why CFPB members now consider a Jerry Greene endorsement “bad luck” to the point most superstitious Packer Backers would pray he would go against Green Bay each and every week.

U.S. congressman Joe Wilson shocked many across the country Wednesday night when he shouted, “You lie!” after reading Jerry Greene’s Carolina Panthers prognostications for the upcoming NFL season.

After Greene’s predictions were first broadcast earlier this week (on ESPN Radio 1080 'The Team' with Marc Daniels) foretelling that Green Bay would win Super Bowl XLIV, the Central Florida Packer Backer club in Orlando wasted little time publishing their own press release regarding the matter:

“We the people of the Central Florida Packer Backers do not endorse any opinions, comments and/or predictions that Mr. Jerry Greene has made related to our beloved team, the Green Bay Packers. With the release of Jerry Greene’s comments, we feel that it is prudent to rebuke his predictions in order to insure the success of the Packers 2009 season. Mr. Greene’s predictions will not assure him re-entry into Lambeau Field. We implore Mr. Greene to reconsider his predictions. GO PACK! (…and the Bears Still Suck!)”
---Central Florida Packer Backers
In related news, to separate themselves from being anyway associated with Sentinel sportsdude Jerry Greene and his recent pigskin picks, the New York Jets changed their team’s jersey colors to Periwinkle and White while the owner of the Dallas Cowboys now answers to the name “Fred.”

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

PACKERPAGE POLL

PackerPage Poll from September 9, 2009.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

PACKERPAGE POLL

PackerPage Poll from September 2, 2009.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

PACKERPAGE POLL

PackerPage Poll from August 25, 2009.

Friday, August 21, 2009

PACKERPAGE POLL

PackerPage Poll from August 21, 2009.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

FAVRE FINALLY PISSES-OFF HIS LAST REMAINING PACKER FAN

(August 18, 2009) --- Football fans know Brent Favre has set many records as a quarterback in the NFL. Well, the 2009 regular season hasn’t even begun and Brent just did it again today when he officially un-retired from the National Football League a record 7-times. That breaks a longstanding record of 6 NFL un-retirements set by Chicago Bears tackle Wes “Wishy-Washy” Wischmeyer in 1942.

Favre’s longtime babysitter Bus Cook announced to the press today that a deal was being worked on with the Minnesota Vikings and the news was confirmed when sources reportedly spotted head coach Brad Childress at the Sports Authority purchasing a brand new pair of purple knee-pads.

Here's a nice picture of Goofy... lounging around with some Disney character.

After retiring from football after the 2008 season with the New York Jets and then committing to the Minnesota Viking for the 2009 season, Brent then told the press and the Vikes just weeks ago that he was definitely hanging up his cleats. At this point, a few Packers fans were willing to forgive and forget... but then he went and did it again.

“I’ve finally had it with that guy,” said longtime Packer Backer Jake Hanke. “I stood by him and defended him even when he was a freakin’ Jet... but this whole Viking thing is unforgivable.”

Although he claims to be extremely pissed at Brent for jerking him around, Hanke said there is some good that’ll come out of all of this bad drama as he plans on donating all of his old #4 Packer jerseys to homeless Bears fans.

Apparently, Favre was scheduled to fly from his home in Mississippi to the Twin Cities earlier today but the flight had to be delayed as airline crew-members had problems fitting Brent’s head through the airplane door.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

PACKERS MARK 90TH BIRTHDAY!

(August 11, 2009) --- Happy anniversary you Green Bay Packers! And can you believe it?... the senior franchise in the NFL turns an amazing 90 years young today.

To mark the special day, lots of activities were planned at legendary Lambeau Field and fans all over the state made the trip to celebrate the leagues oldest team in the National Football League with plenty of “family friendly” events. For instance, parents who wanted to take part in an all-you-can-drink beer sampling event at Curly’s Pub called the “Blatz Blitz” had the option of dumping their kids off at the “Brats for Brats” booth at Clarke Hinkle Field which featured lots of yummy Johnsonville pacifiers to help silence the sobbing.

There were the usual historical presentations such as classic photographs, team memorabilia and George Halas’s vintage negligee collection... but most Packer fans were lining up to for several interactive displays honoring a few Green Bay greats. The longest line was just outside the Packers Hall-of-Fame to take part in the “Ray Nitschke Experience” where unsuspecting fans were handed a football only to get a spring-loaded forearm to the head. Another popular exhibit was the “Paul Hornung Challenge” where Packer Backers could wager how many shots of whiskey they could down and still put a football through the uprights.

To help celebrate the date, team founder Earl “Curly” Lambeau and a few other surviving members of the Green Bay Packers’ 1919 squad (10-1) met at the field that bears his name for photos, autographs and carbon-dating. Fans were delighted to watch 111-year old Lambeau and 112-year old teammate Nate Abrams reenact one of the plays from the Packers' inaugral season when... while on their way to clobbering Sheboygan 87-0... Abrams ran 96-yards for a touchdown. You still have a chance to catch this historical moment as Abrams isn’t estimated to reach the end-zone until sometime in early September.

Monday, August 10, 2009

BREAKING NEWS!

(August 10, 2009) --- The PackerPage is reporting that two homeless men have been spotted near the Minnesota Vikings' training camp.

"Which way to the soup kitchen?"

Film at 11.